Maybe Matilda: And THEN he said . . .

Thursday, January 19, 2012

And THEN he said . . .

How much do you hate it when moms add captions of what their baby is saying/thinking in pictures?

DSC_0082This was just one of the many things I vowed never to do when I had a baby—it just seemed goofy to me to add an “I sure love my grandma!” or an “Oops, is there something on my face?!” to a picture of a baby. Obviously, the baby is saying no such thing. I’d bet money he’s not thinking it, either.

And in my lofty, knowledgeable, childless state, I decided I would never do something so silly. I was a parenting expert before I became a parent. (Also on the ridiculous list of things I wouldn’t do when I had a baby were such choice items as “never sniff his butt to check for a dirty diaper,” and “never take him out of the house in a mismatched outfit.” It’s been a long, hard fall down that list, knocking off every last item along the way.)

But then when I end up with a series of pictures like this, how am I supposed to let it go captionless? I’m fighting the urge to add captions here . . . I’m fighting it hard. And I am losing this battle, my friends.

DSC_0322-1 DSC_0324-1 DSC_0325-1 (Do you see what he’s wearing? Check that “mismatched outfit” item off my mothering list! There’s a two-for-one special on the parenting checklist today. Get ready for some mismatched, awkwardly outfitted captions!)

We thought it would be fun to take Forrest out to get frozen yogurt. Never mind that it was something like 4 degrees outside, or that the wind was strong enough to literally push me across the parking lot. Off we went. Clearly, someone did not appreciate our attempt at fun family activities and quality time spent together. After one lick of  frozen yogurt, he was trying to scrape his tongue off with his fingernails—who is this child? Surely no son of mine would turn his nose up at delicious Smores-flavored frozen yogurt! There must have been some sort of mix-up at the hospital. No wonder he doesn’t have any of my smashing good looks.

Maybe he just didn’t like how cold it was—we offered him some brownie bites from our bowls instead.

DSC_0326-1 (If I were a caption sort of person, this is where I’d write, “Hmmm, this looks more promising!”)

Unfortunately, even the brownies were a bust.


(Caption: “Abort, abort, abort!”)

This from the boy whose lunch yesterday consisted mostly of—I’m not joking—brownies. Maybe he’s going to be a food snob who turns up his nose at store bought brownie bites. Homemade brownies are acceptable, but factory-made brownies?!


And, by the way, I have no idea where he got all these dramatics from. NO IDEA, I TELL YOU!


  1. hahaha...what a cutie!! My kids aren't crazy about frozen yogurt either! I took them to a new frozen yogurt shop a while ago. No amount of rainbow sprinkles could fool my girl that it wasn't "ice cream." She told me it tasted like yucky cheese!

  2. What a Cutie! You are too funny Rachel, I always enjoy reading your posts! :)

  3. Tooooo cute. THe last picture is my favorite. I myself am seeing myself check things off that same type of list.....I guess it goes to show that you don't know until you've walked in those shoes. or been there or... whatever..... you know what I mean!

  4. He is too cute. This post made me smile. My mom always used to say that she was an expert at parenting until she became a parent. ;)

  5. Ahaha! A man after my own heart. Factory-made brownies are disgusting (said in my best Ladies Man voice), Forrest. I love how he squints one eye and sticks his tongue out. Hysterical.

  6. Hehehe! I was a parenting expert before I had kids too. :) My kids were laughing hysterically at the "ew gross" faces Forrest was making. Too funny!

  7. Ah, Rachel. Your blogging never fails me. Love it.

  8. I don't know if you watch Seinfeld, but your little "REMOVE THIS FOUL SUBSTANCE!" quote just reminded me of when Jerry tells Newman that he knows Newman wouldn't eat broccoli if it was, "deep fried in chocolate sauce." Newman takes a bite to refute the fact, chews for a moment and spews it forth crying, "VILE WEED!" Apparently Forrest wouldn't eat brownies if it was in chocolate sauce either. So sad.

    P.S. FORREST, you should take the brownies any way you can get them! Trust me. You'll thank me when you're older.

  9. 1. My kid will love frozen yogurt.
    2. Watch the "brownies" in frozen yogurt. Sometimes they are made from things like plums. True story. Gross story. But true. Forrest is on to them.
    3. My kid will love frozen yogurt.

  10. Dear Rachel, I love EVERYTHING about your blog. and the best thing is, my little guy loves your blog too (so he's sitting on my lap without trying to hit every button on the keyboard) at least the posts with pictures of forrest - and I wish you could see him, trying to mimic the faces your adorable lil guy is making. maybe he thinks it's him in the pictures. they look so much alike, it's crazy! blond hair, blue eyes and a cheeky grin. I wish we could meet, but chances are close to zero, since I live on the other side of the world! thanks!!

  11. Oh, you are SO funny Rachel! And your little boy is hilarious--what a funny progression.

    Oh, my parenting checklist of "things not to do" has totally been a joke. When I hear my kid-less friends share their ideas about such things, I smile to myself and look forward to commiserating one day when they have kids and have completely given up and semblance of standards they once had. Haha, I can't wait!

    Also, the brownie thing is a total reminder that we can never write off toddlers as liking or not liking something--they're so fickle! From one day to the next, they just do whatever the heck they want, don't they? I always put whatever we're having for dinner in front of my kid and some days she hates it, but when I serve it as leftovers she's all over it. Sucker...

  12. Too cute! Thanks for sharing the adorable pictures!

  13. Nina--that is too funny! Your little boy sitting on your lap making those faces makes for the cutest mental picture. I love it!

  14. haha! His faces are priceless. I'd take a lunch of brownies any day...


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