Forrest has been talking all week about seeing a parachute and I have had not even the slightest idea what he’s been going on about, or where he has even heard of a parachute or why he thought he would see one, yet somehow his frequent reminders (delivered hourly, all day, every day) did not particularly help to clear things up—we gonna do da pawachute and it’s gonna be soooo fun! We do da pawachute today, Mama? No? How ‘bout tomowwow?
And as if things weren’t confusing enough, extra variables started entering the parachute equation. By day three of parachute talk, the parachute had somehow developed a windmill (?) and a roller coaster (??) and a water slide (???) and he was “just sooooo essited to see da pawachute wif da windmill and da woller coaster and da water swide!” and I never had any clue how to interpret or respond to any of this nonsense so I just kind of nodded and tried to change the subject because how exactly am I expected to satisfy his requests for a roller coaster-waterslide-windmill-parachute hybrid? Inventors of the world, take note. There is demand in the preschool demographic for a water sliding, windmilling, roller coastering parachute, a completely untapped yet surely profitable market.
This morning we went to the last day of this little basketball class he’s been taking (which surely should have gotten a post of its own because it was all sorts of hilarious to watch him ignore the other children doing their exercises and drills and instead spend the full hour trying to flirt and hold hands with his coach who described him as, I quote, “quite a hoot”—you don’t know the half of it, sister), and lo and behold, for the final 10 minutes, what did they bring out?
Pawachute mystery solved. Unfortunately, the windmill, roller coaster, and water slide did not make an appearance.