Maybe Matilda: Deep Thoughts with Forrest

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Deep Thoughts with Forrest

Taking a page from Grace’s book.

Forrest: What are you making?
Me: Granola.
Forrest: Gorilla?
Me: Granola.
Forrest: I don’t want gorilla!
Me: GRANOLA.
Forrest: (near tears) DON’T MAKE ME EAT GORILLA!

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Forrest: (watching Darcy drool all over herself) Oh no! She’s drippin’!

Forrest: (performing a dance that involved lots of arm-wiggling) Mama, dance wif me. Jiggle your arms like this!
Me: (wiggles arms)
Forrest: No. Jiggle them, just like this. (demonstrates)
Me: (more wiggling)
Forrest: MAMA. Jiggle them like THIS. (more wiggling)
Me: (wiggles)
Forrest: (heavy sigh) Never mind. You’re not jiggling right.

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Forrest: Look in my diaper! I have a secret surprise for you!
Me: (peeks)
Forrest: It’s a poopoo surprise!
Me: :-(

I came downstairs after feeding Darcy…
Forrest: Where you go? I was looking for you all year long!

After telling Jeff he’d rather keep watching TV than go play soccer outside…
Jeff: You are a couch potato.
Forrest: I’m not a couch tomato!

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While I’m scolding him for doing something naughty…
Forrest: Mama, you better calm down. WIGHT now.

Forrest: Pwetend you’re sleeping, Mama! Cwose your eyes! (shuts door to my room)
Me: (pretends)
Forrest: (shouting from hallway) Are you awake in der? You better be quiet and go to sleep WIGHT NOW!

Forrest: Mama, can I watch shows?
Me: Sure.
Forrest: No, you need to tell me ‘Sure sweetheart.

Forrest: (bursting in while I’m going to the bathroom) Are you going peepee on the potty Mama?!
Me: Yes. Get out.
Forrest: Wow, Mama! I’m vewwy vewwy so pwoud of you! Dat’s a great job!
Me: Get out.
Forrest: (clapping) So much peepee, Mama! Wow, you are da best big girl! Now wiggle your penis, wiggle wiggle wiggle, to get all the peepee drips off!
Me: . . .

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41 comments :

  1. After the "poo poo" surprise I'd tell him to change his own diaper. ;) Sounds like you have your hands full with that one.

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  2. Hilarious ... especially that last one! I love this age, the things they say are so funny!

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  3. How nice of him to be worried about the peepee drips on your penis!

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  4. This is hilarious! It made my entire morning.

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  5. hahahahahahahahaha he is h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s-!

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  6. Hahahaha. So hilarious. Love reading your stories about them!

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  7. Oh man... the last one is the best. What a character.

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  8. The last episode just MADE MY DAY. Yay for 3yo boys!! Nina.

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  9. This made my morning! Wow. Can't figure out which one I like more, maybe the "poo-poo surprise" or "She's drippin'!". Please do this more often. Please, please, please.

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  10. Such a shame that he is so boring, with no personality whatsoever!

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  11. I am picturing Forrest reading this as an adult, WOW!

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  12. Lol. I hope my son has this much personality.... I think. Lol

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  13. HAHA!! Too funny. I can't wait to potty train my son ;)

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  14. Lol, You made me laugh out loud with the last one :) I do NOT have the same situation over here ;)

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  15. HAHAHA!!! This made me laugh so hard. It's like we're living in the same house!
    PS - I finally remembered to grab some monistat for my face today. It was awful. Target was restocking and I was sneaking around "that" aisle and the kid asked if he could help me and he didn't know what I was talking about, so called a friend over.... and of course they were out and hadn't restocked it yet so I had to go to Walgreens and start all over. Sigh.

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  16. Oh my goshhhhh that last one is soooooo hilarious! He's such a smartypants!

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  17. I'm sitting here, laughing out loud. PLEASE keep these posts up! So much fun! :)

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  18. Since I have a closet full of *gasp* bootcut jeans I had to give this a try. Your instructions were so helpful. The hardest part was HAND SEWING the seams since I don't have a sewing machine! I now have a super cute and stylish pair of skinnies :-) No way I could've stuffed all that fabric into these boots before! Thanks for another great blog post Rachel!

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  19. Seriously, this age, it is awesome. I was dying over the last one, and also the one where he was yelling at you to be quiet and go to sleep. Because I bet I can guess where he got it and soooo btdt.

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  20. So hilarious! Especially the last one :)

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  21. Oh my gosh, this was the best post! I love when you share conversations with Forest. Totally cracks me up. Glad my kid isn't the only one who shares secret surprises. :)~

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  22. Nooo idea where he may have gotten the idea to yell at me to shutup and sleep, no idea at all.....

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  23. That's awesome, great job! I can't believe you hand sewed them . . . that must have been such a pain. But they came out awesome!

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  24. Bahahahahahhaa! Awesome. Of course they would be out of it. I can't stop laughing at this :-)

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  25. Oh my gosh this is great! Right along with my Wil-isms (which I need to do a post on some ones from here lately). The last one kills me haha.

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  26. Thanks! Surprisingly it only took about 2 hours of sewing per leg and wasn't too bad. I stuck my fingers about 523 times during the process! Luckily, no blood drawn...bad with light colored pants. I wasn't looking forward to it but thought, hey, people sewed by hand for billions of years before machines came along! That rationalization convinced me to try it. I definitely would like a machine to finish off the rest of my balloony pants though ;-)

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  27. Thanks for the interesting post. I have few baggy jeans. I think I an do some changes like this stitching on my jeans.

    Wholesale Women trouser

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  28. Thank you so much for this tutorial! Saved me a ton of research, and multiple mistakes along the way. Squeee!

    Here's the result, if you're interested: http://alltagsdiamanten.wordpress.com/2014/04/07/skinnifying-and-hemming-jeans/

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  29. This is quite easy to make this change as per your size. But will you please tell me do we need any professional machine for this stitching.
    www.buywholesaletees.com

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  30. What kind of thread did you use? Just regular all purpose, or is there a special kind that is more durable for jeans.

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  31. I bought a pair of 7 for all mankind jeans at a resale shop, and they fit great through the waist and hips, but they're total bell bottoms! I had a hard time justifying wearing them around with a flare that big, despite how well they fit. After years of sitting in my closet, I recently became interested in tailoring them. I did a quick google search to see if it could even be done, and I came across this post. I just finished them and they look so AWESOME!!! Now its a perfect fit! So proud of my handy-work! I know what I'm wearing on casual Friday!! Thank you for the help!!

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  32. Yay! I'm so glad it worked out well for you!

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Thanks for commenting!

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