Taking a page from Grace’s book.
Forrest: What are you making?
Forrest: I don’t want gorilla!
Forrest: (near tears) DON’T MAKE ME EAT GORILLA!
Forrest: (watching Darcy drool all over herself) Oh no! She’s drippin’!
Forrest: (performing a dance that involved lots of arm-wiggling) Mama, dance wif me. Jiggle your arms like this!
Me: (wiggles arms)
Forrest: No. Jiggle them, just like this. (demonstrates)
Me: (more wiggling)
Forrest: MAMA. Jiggle them like THIS. (more wiggling)
Forrest: (heavy sigh) Never mind. You’re not jiggling right.
Forrest: Look in my diaper! I have a secret surprise for you!
Forrest: It’s a poopoo surprise!
I came downstairs after feeding Darcy…
Forrest: Where you go? I was looking for you all year long!
After telling Jeff he’d rather keep watching TV than go play soccer outside…
Jeff: You are a couch potato.
Forrest: I’m not a couch tomato!
While I’m scolding him for doing something naughty…
Forrest: Mama, you better calm down. WIGHT now.
Forrest: Pwetend you’re sleeping, Mama! Cwose your eyes! (shuts door to my room)
Forrest: (shouting from hallway) Are you awake in der? You better be quiet and go to sleep WIGHT NOW!
Forrest: Mama, can I watch shows?
Forrest: No, you need to tell me ‘Sure sweetheart.’
Forrest: (bursting in while I’m going to the bathroom) Are you going peepee on the potty Mama?!
Me: Yes. Get out.
Forrest: Wow, Mama! I’m vewwy vewwy so pwoud of you! Dat’s a great job!
Me: Get out.
Forrest: (clapping) So much peepee, Mama! Wow, you are da best big girl! Now wiggle your penis, wiggle wiggle wiggle, to get all the peepee drips off!
Me: . . .