Maybe Matilda: Deep Thoughts with Forrest #2

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Deep Thoughts with Forrest #2

leaning over toilet as he flushes
Forrest: Bye-bye, pee-pee! I’ll miss you! I wuv you so much!

runs up and hugs me out of the blue
Forrest: Mama, I just wuv you a whole whole whole whole whole whole lot big!
Me: (melts into puddle on floor)

during a brief power outage
Forrest: Uh-oh! The house batteries are dead!

supervising during a diaper change
Forrest: Oh no, Mama! Where is Darcy’s penis?!
Me: She doesn’t have one.
Forrest: Uh-oh, she lose it? Darcy, you lose your penis somewhere? (crouches down, begins searching under dresser, crib, etc. for lost penis)

standing in front of mirror wearing a pajama top tucked into his underpants, a bib turned backwards (cape), and snow boots
Forrest: Whoa, look at that! I look like gooooooood.

while he’s sitting on the toilet, after 2 days without doing a number twosie
Me: What’s going on? Don’t you need to poop?
Forrest: My poopoos are not coming out. They’re just sleeping in there.

Forrest: Mama, what are you making for dinner?
Me: Tuna sandwiches.
Forrest: Ok, wight. But I just have a little secret to tell you. (leans in, whispers in my ear) I don’t like tuna sammiches.

while wandering down the candy aisle at the grocery store
Forrest: Wow, those chocwates look gooooooooood!
Me: Yeah, they do.
Forrest: ‘Member yesterday, I went poopoo in the potty?
Me: Yep, I remember that.
Forrest: I did a willy willy good job!
Me: You sure did.
Forrest: Those chocwates look so so so so yummy.
Forrest: I did a good poopoo. Those chocwates look yummy.
Forrest: I want a treat for my poopoo.

during a dinner of pizza and sweet potato fries
Jeff: Can you finish your sweet potatoes?
Forrest: No, because I am the pizza master.

on a walk, during which Forrest asked roughly 4,000 times if we could walk to the playground
Jeff: If you ask about the playground one more time, we’re going straight back home. Do you understand?
Forrest: Yeah, okay.
(approximately 2 seconds passes)
Forrest: I just want to say somefing.
Jeff: It better not be about the playground.
Forrest: I know. I just want to say, real quick, can we go to the playground?

drapes his blankie over his head like a veil
Forrest: Look, I am a pretty queen! My name is Queen Fowwest.
Me: Hi, Queen Forrest.
Forrest: (shakes my hand) Hi, it’s nice to meet you. I am the queen, so I am in charge now.


  1. Haha, thank you! He's a hoot, that's for sure.

  2. Kids, the cheapest form of entertainment. These are awesome. I especially loved when he was helping Darcy find her lost penis. Awesome.

  3. Oh Rachel! The sunglasses (can I get a pair?), the superman, AND the pants! I die!

  4. Haha! Such a thoughtful brother, right? Clearly, we need to have a few anatomy lessons with him ;-)

  5. So hilarious!! I am laughing so hard right now! He is so hilarious!! P.S. if you have any tips for getting kids to poop in the potty I'd love to hear them. We tried to bribe ours with a ride on a go-cart which worked the first time, but every time since (if you go poop in the potty you get to ride the racecars again!) is met with 'but I already did go poop in the potty.' I can't seem to get them to shake the idea that it was a one time deal! hahahaha!

  6. Haha! Clever boys ;-) Forrest is getting better about pooping on the potty but it was definitely a struggle at first. He would hold it for daaaays and then by the time he finally couldn't hold it any more, he'd be crying while he went because it hurt! One thing that I think made a big difference was when he pooped in his favorite pair of underpants--they had superheroes on them and he LOVED those underpants, and when he pooped in them I made a big deal of 'oh no, these underpants are ruined! we have to throw them in the garbage!' He was really upset about it, but one thing I am NOT willing to do is try and scrub poop out of clothes. So gross, I'd rather just toss them out and buy new ones. He was super upset about the underpants getting thrown out, so I think that helped him realize he has to go in the potty, since he doesn't want more underpants he likes to be thrown away. Another thing that seems to help, weirdly enough (and this is gross but whatever, life with 3 year olds is gross, period), is to act all excited about the 'plop' sound when he goes. Ha! He gets pumped about 'making a plop' when he poops. Weird, but it seems to help. And the first few times, we'd have him call some family members to brag about pooping in the potty, and I think that helped too, to have grandma and grandpa and aunts and uncles pretend to be super excited/proud of him for pooping.

    Kids are disgusting. I'm still not sure we're in the clear as far as #2 goes, but he seems to be getting more confident about it. Good luck!

  7. oh my goodness - hilarious!!! thanks Forrest, for the after lunch laughs :-)

  8. Hilarious! He is adorable! Ramona calls Beckett's penis his butt so good job Forrest for knowing your anatomy!

  9. You seriously have the funniest kid ever. Please keep these posts coming, because I really enjoy them!

  10. I just loved reading this!!! Hilarious. Lost penis has got to be one of my favorites. LOL

  11. Fowwest is hilarious! Totally had me at lost penis!

  12. Haha! Except for the confusion where he thinks EVERYONE has/should have a penis, he's got it down ;-)

  13. You will be SO glad you've written these down someday. Forest will be, too. :)

  14. Oh my gosh, Rachel, I love your posts about Forrest! He says the most entertaining stuff. These posts have to be my absolute fave on your blog (and I love A LOT of posts on your blog). The penis conversation was fantastic. I also love the poop conversation with your husband. What am I talking about? They were all my favorite! :)

  15. a fantastic read Excellent read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing some research on that. a knockout post And he just bought me lunch since I found it for him smile Therefore let me rephrase that: about his Thanks for lunch! additional hints

  16. Haha, thanks Cameron! He's such a goofball. And it's probably obvious that we're potty training, with all the anatomy and poop chats, huh? :-P

  17. I love reading these! He's such a ham, and you write his "wittle kid wanguage" so well!

  18. I'm not ready for this series to end. I am literally laughing out loud! He is such a hilarious little guy. And all of the photos you take of him are darling.


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