Maybe Matilda: Deep Thoughts with Forrest #6

Friday, September 5, 2014

Deep Thoughts with Forrest #6

Copying Grace yet again, because that’s how I do.

Preschool started this week and at first I was all ‘yay!’ and then I was all ‘boohoo my babies are growing up and leaving me!’ and now I’m all ‘yay? I think?’ It’s been confusing. Forrest seems to be loving it, and as soon as he emerged from his classroom at pickup yesterday, he shared his most exciting tidbit from the day . . .
Forrest: Mama! I pooped-ed in the potty and my teacher wiped-ed my butt!
Then I pooped-ed AGAIN and the OTHER teacher wiped-ed my butt!!!
I hope those kind souls are well-paid. Note to self: teach wiping skills.

After getting a suggestion from Lisa on my facebook page to check out Revlon Super Lustrous (her favorite drugstore lipstick), I picked out what looked to me like a nice classic red lipstick and put it on when I got home from the store. Forrest entered the room a few minutes later and . . .
Forrest: Whoa!!! What is on your lips???
Me: Lipstick. Do you like it?
Forrest: (thinking) . . . well, I guess I fink it is pwetty intewesting.

a few minutes later, Darcy started whining and  . . .
Me: What’s wrong, Darcy-bean?
Forrest: I fink she hates your lipstick.

a few minutes later still . . .
Forrest: Hey, I have a gweat idea!
Me: What is it?
Forrest: You could get a napkin, and you could wipe that lipstick off! Isn’t that a weally gweat idea?!

(Pictured for your viewing displeasure: the lipstick in question. I mean, maybe pairing it with pink wasn’t the best idea, but geez.)

In the car on the way back home after a particularly challenging shopping trip with lots of naughtiness and scolding.
Forrest: (huge sigh) Mama, I’m tired of being naughty.

Forrest: Hey Mama, do you know how to spell OK?
Me: (deeply impressed that he made the connection between the sound of the word ‘OK’ and the letters involved) How?
Forrest: You write an ‘N’ and an ‘O’ and that spells OK.

After spending a few hours making roughly 4 zillion cupcakes for Forrest’s birthday party, I left them all lined up on the counter and collapsed on the couch. Forrest saw the cupcakes and asked if he could have one—I said no, he couldn’t eat one until the party. A few minutes later, I see him walk by with a half-eaten cupcake in his hand.
Me: Forrest! Are you eating a cupcake?!
Forrest: Yes I am.
Me: You asked if you could have one and I said no!
Forrest: I know dat. But I said yes.

Later that same night, while I was tucking him in bed . . .
Me: What was the best part of your day today?
Forrest: When I stealed-ed a cupcake.
Me: What was the worst part of your day today?
Forrest: When I stealed-ed a cupcake, and I was very sowwy.


  1. Hilarious! My baby started preschool this week too and I also have mixed feelings. When he got home after his first day he informed me that one of the boys was in his class was not quiet while his teacher was talking. I asked what boy and he said, "It was me. I was the boy that was not quiet."

  2. Oh, but he was very sorry about the cupcake :). Too cute, I miss that age. I remember when my son started pre-school, and he also had a pooping story to tell, I remember it like it was just yesterday, because his teacher made a point of telling me (not so very nicely) of what he had done, well, I quickly taught him how to wipe his tushy, but it aggravated me the way she said it (I wanted to pull her hair ;). And by the way, that color looks nice on you.

  3. These Forrest posts are so amazing. He's hysterical!

  4. I've never had jasmine rice, but as always, I want to make this. Yum. Looks and sounds delish.

  5. Oh. My. Word. I just laughed out loud the entire way down the hallway of my school on my way to lunch. My principal thinks I'm nuts! So funny.

  6. Ok, still giggling after reading Deep Thoughts. Forrest is so much like my Simon...I hear many comments similar to the new lipstick when I try a new color too (especially with hair or nail color). Usually it's "Why did you do that, mommy?" Oh my goodness! At least you know where they stand, huh?

  7. Made this an hour ago; I'm not usually a fan of sweet sauce on meats, but this was fantastic! And, yep, even the kids loved it! Thanks so much for sharing this family favorite!

  8. Ha! Definitely no beating around the bush or false compliments with kids ;-)

  9. Aw, how sad! His teacher didn't say anything to me about it, but maybe because she was talking to other moms when I picked Forrest up, so I'm not sure she really even saw me. Hopefully she's forgotten about it by his next class ;-)

  10. I'm so glad you liked it! It's such a treat to have a dinner the kids won't complain about. That is a rare occurrence at my house ;-)

  11. I love these posts! I can't ever remember the funny things Ramona says.

  12. The cupcake story is the best. And the whole pooping at preschool thing yeah I thought about we should have worked on the wiping his own tushy thing this summer then I kept putting it off... We will work on it now and let's hope until he gets in down pat he won't have to go at school haha.

  13. I have to say that I love these posts. He is just too funny! And ornery :) I have to say though that I liked the lipstick on you. I though it looked nice.

  14. This was one of the funniest posts I've read in awhile. Thanks for sharing! What a funny boy!

  15. Thanks Katie! Never a dull moment, right? :-P

  16. Ha, thank you! Sadly, I returned it . . . couldn't deal with the criticism from the tiny peanut gallery ;-)

  17. Yeah, we've started working on the self-wiping now. He is terrible at it (so gross), but that poor teacher . . .

  18. That's why I have to post them! I forget everything otherwise.


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